Saturday, September 8, 2007

Osama Bin Laden: JFK Conspiracy Theorist


Who would've guessed that while hiding among the rocks and hills of Mesopotamia, terrorist numero uno Osama Bin Laden has been delving into the big conspiracy behind the Kennedy assassination? In his video taped message released yesterday, Bin Laden took time to present his conclusions about the infamous 1963 crime - Kennedy was killed by corporate America!

According to Bin Laden, "...when Kennedy took over the presidency and deviated from the general line of policy [in Vietnam] drawn up for the White House and wanted to stop this unjust war, that angered the owners of the major corporations who were benefiting from its continuation. And so Kennedy was killed...[and] those corporations were the primary beneficiary from his killing."

Thank you Mr. Bin Laden for clearing up one of the great mysteries of the last century. Conspiracy theorists everywhere can now rest easy in the knowledge that Kennedy's real killers have been exposed and Lee Harvey Oswald's good name has finally been restored. I know that members of the Secret Service, FBI, and CIA will be especially relieved to know that you've cleared them of the wrong-doing that so many conspiracy theorists have accused them of over the last four decades.

In fact, the U.S. government would like to thank you personally. Where can you be reached?